(or); A spider bit me on the f#@&%*ing face…
Yeah. You heard me. A spider bit me. On the face. On my top lip to be exact.
I have been sick, as I might have mentioned. So I have been sleeping on the couch to avoid passing it on to my wife. I got up at about four this morning because my back was aching. I got up to take some Tylenol. When I sat back on the couch I noticed the cup of tea I had made the night before was still sitting there, so I took a sip. I felt something brush my top lip. I thought it was a lint ball. I should mention that it was dark in the living room except for the light of the TV.
Before I had time to do anything, I felt the lint ball wiggling. So I thought it was a moth or a fly. Eeeewwwww… but not the end of the world.
Then I felt the little fangs sink into my top lip.
It didn’t hurt all that bad. I turned on the light, fished the little assassin out of my tea and saved it just in case it turned out to be something poisonous or I had an allergic reaction. As of now, I just have a little red bump in the middle of my top lip. Like I went to the world’s laziest Botox specialist.
So once again you have a chance to learn from my stupid mistakes. Never drink in the dark. Unless it is good, strong booze. Because that kills the spiders.
And I guess it could have been worse. The spider was a baby. But we have these big ugly brown spiders in our house all the time.
And I have found Black Widows in our house more than once.