(That book in the picture is not my novel, just so you know, but I am in it)
I seem to be getting very close to having my novel published and available electronically or in actual book form. As soon as I get my first dollar for a sale, I will be able to call myself a professional author.
There are two other books that have small parts that I wrote included in them. This is due to my good friend H. E. Ellis, an accomplished writer who does projects with other bloggers. Please check out her work at http://heellisgoa.com/ All of the proceeds from her work go to cancer charities, but she has written a lot of really cool things. I was honored to participate in two projects she started. One was a very adult series of interviews with characters who were involved with Santa Clause and thereby ended up getting sucked into a string of unfortunate legal problems that have been dogging old Saint Nick. I got to play the part of Rudolf the Red-nosed Reindeer. If this sounds like fun to you, by all means order a copy of;
on her blog, or through Amazon, or however all that works. I am still a computer moron, so don’t bother asking me. Before long her series of reworked, adult versions… no, I don’t mean pornographic, but they are salty… fairy tales will also be available, so keep an eye out for that as well. I did the short story about the Three Little Pigs, who are now a heavy metal band in an alternate universe where pigs are in charge. And it does not end well. But this means that I am an actual published author now. Not a professional one yet, but just give me time. H. E. Ellis also gave me some very valuable help about how to publish my novel, so thanks again, pal.
Also, that band that I am in with my brother Henry now has a set list of almost 50 songs, including original songs by me and my brother… (oh, you didn’t know I write songs? You didn’t see the button at the top up there that says ‘my songs’???)… so we will be playing bar gigs soon. We still haven’t even settled on a name for the band yet, but that is because there were too many good ones to choose from. But whatever, it should be just a matter of time before I am a professional musician too.
Not bad for a guy who is all art-side-of-the-brain and can’t market himself or do any real life stuff at all.
And I had a Twitter conversation with Eric Idle.
And my blog has over 500 of the best followers any cult… uh… I mean blogger… could ever want.
And that idea that Jason, my daughter’s boyfriend, and I are working on for a blog where I write stories to go with the cool 3-D high-tech military hardware pictures he does is well under way. Think combat/sci-fi/supernatural overtones and awesome rendered images.
I got my sweet new… used… guitar that I showed you a picture of not too long ago. I may order a box of printed copies of my novel, go to downtown San Diego in my spare time, and play the guitar on a street corner, and when people stop to listen and shower me with gold coins, I will say, “Hey, if you like the songs I write, you should buy a copy of my hilarious Sci-fi novel.
And if I can get one magazine idea published in the magazine owned and printed by the teacher of that writing workshop class I just took… you know, she is the one who, after I read a chapter of my novel out loud in class, she said, “You are kind of crazy, aren’t you?”, and I decided to use that quote on the back of my novel… then she said she would give me actual press credentials. If I get those, I can cross police lines and show up at the scenes of emergencies, disasters, and other fun things like that. How cool is that going to be?
So I don’t know what is happening to my life, but I am sort of enjoying the ride.


Not too shabby for a right-brainer! So very proud of you.
‘Very close’ may be an overstatement. I can’t hurry my kid up for nothin’… not even for 10% of the profits… I hope I did alright with the links and the picture and putting you in the post. I tried to make that part about you and not just about me, but you know how self-absorbed I am…
You are not self-absorbed, you are awesome, and deserve every bit of success that comes your way!
It has just never happened before so I didn’t prepare a speech or anything… and I still couldn’t have done it without you. Jess is looking at your email advice now.
All right! Not to shabby! That’ll do, pig, that’ll do! Congrats on a new year starting off with such excitement!
Pride goeth before a fall as they say…
Does it cometh backeth afterwards???
I do… I just don’t get paid for it.
I just read your tags for this blog post and all I’ve got to say is, “Good God, Man!”
See… I am not even above luring perverts and reprobates to my blog just to get some free hits on my view stats. I am indeed shameless. But then again if you could see the search terms people use to find this place, well… I thought I was a family friendly operation, other than the occasional swear word done by over anxious commentors….
Okay, there was the one moving picture post of me where I explained how I invented the ‘wardrobe malfunction’ in the early 80′s… and one with me topless where I show off my rock-hard abs, but I was 8 or 9 years old in that one. I did a post called something like, ‘Look at those two huge boobs’, but it was just a picture of The two candidates who lost the last presidential election. And I did throw in some funny tags during my recent WordPress revolution about our battle flag with the ‘hot’ beaver on it, but I didn’t come up with that idea… I guess there was a sort of sexy post long ago about people who are aroused by cartoons like Betty Boop… but other than that, my conscience is clear… if I spelled that right.
Excellent use of the “free porn” tag. It’s starting to get me hundreds of hits per day. It’s embarrassing! I don’t think I have any real readers anymore sometimes. Congratulations and good luck. You deserve all the best. You’re one of a kind, and I’m sure all this is making your wife smile with pride.
She just keeps saying, “Show me the money.”
Hopefully you’ll be showing her very soon.
I better or it’s minimum wage hell for me.
So I see you in Twitter and then here and then back again. Are we just bouncing back and forth between here and there together?
Yep, but here I can practice my run on sentences. Just about to go to bed though, you know it’s late here out on the open plains with no lekrisity.
Okay then. Don’t let the bed bugs bite… or the zombies… ha.
excellent!!! busy busy busy, it’s just as well your brain is designed…….is randomly put together……has fallen in such a way that enables you to take it all in your stride; don’t take your foot off the gas though
But gas is so expensive now…
you’re worth it
sigh
just think how the rest of us feel……
I never do that… too self-absorbed… that is just crazy talk… remember my motto; I before we except after me.
but there’s still a ‘we’ in there; we’re not completely forgotten
Well, I need other people… to notice how clever I am…
do lesser people’s opinions matter?
If I am clever and no one mentions or notices, it takes some of the fun out of it.
So the year of the Snake may be a fortuitous one for you by the sounds of it! Huzzah!
I need to keep moving forward and not trip over my own big feet. Thanks for everything…
Sounds fun – enjoy the ride.
Can’t talk now, the cops are chasing me…
It was bound to happen.
Push the pedal to the metal and drive hard, I can offer safe harbour in Canada if you can make it this far. Also beer. I can offer beer.
You could toss some of those flaming beavers at the cop cars… just sayin’…
Awesome. That’s exciting!
Thanks so much. It is also terrifying. So I am just jumping without looking where I am going to land… because that always works out well for me.